“Well if you are going to complicate things…”
What!!!! (yes with all those exclamation points and all) is what I really wanted to scream on the other end of the phone, but I was already huffy.
“What is wrong with you. I don’t have the right skin tone to pull off bright orange,” I countered. You know the color convicts wear as they do meaningless arts and crafts hanging out in jail. I’m really not interested in emulating Martha Stewart.
What’s up with those pesky Federal laws, anyway? Always getting in the way of a perfectly good Salem Oregon real estate transaction. RESPA, you know that set of Federal Laws called the Real Estate Settlement Procedures Act? It’s kind of a “minor” rule in real estate that any money that changes hands during the settlement of the loan has to appear on this small document called the HUD-1 Final Settlement Statement. Every so often, I get an “old school” agent that wants to do things “under the table.” The urge to chuck the table at those agents is huge for me, because I’m telling you, bright orange will make my skin look sallow. Not good. Not good at all! Plus what kind of shoes would go with that?
Back to my point. Really, I do have one, so just keep reading.
If your real estate agent suggests to you that we take care of that after closing, and they aren’t talking about the very legal hold back account. Walk. Run. Bunny hop or electric slide your way away from that agent. If you don’t have any handy disco music to keep the beat for you just substitute the macarena. I know y’all have that song drilled in your head from being overplayed on the radio so I know you can do that one sans iPod.
Consumers count on Salem Oregon real estate agents to know and follow the laws of our state and the federal government. I don’t know if it is because the real estate market is in the bidet, but dear consumers, don’t let your real estate agent help you commit fraud. Really, I promise…you don’t look good in bright orange either.