Who doesn’t want to live in a sky box?

You can’t ask for better news than this! The Statesman Journal announced today that Salem kicked the yellow and green behind of Eugene and stole the Emeralds to our city. With a brand spanking new downtown stadium, even!  Complaints have already come in to the city regarding our city noise ordinance that requires that the city shut down by 7:00pm on Fridays and Saturdays. Local officials have reassured me that there won’t be any late night games.  Games will just be held on those increasing furlough days for state workers and will definitely be shut down by 7:00 so as not to ruin’s Salem’s reputation as a quiet city.

” Beer Googles will have super cheap Frito Lays of their choosing and cheap beer.  It’s all good!”

Eat Salem has been chatting with local restaurateur David Rosales of La Capitale and Andaluz fame. I’m personally excited to attend the opening of his new restaurant Sockaroni at the new stadium. I think that David can probably make a better marinara sauce than I can buy at the store from Newman’s Own. It’ll be tough though, ’cause that’s good stuff. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that David can pull it off!

On the real estate side of things, those sky boxes are going to go up for sale as luxury condos. Developers aren’t worried about Salem’s sagging condo market. “Who doesn’t want to live in a sky box?” developers recently stated. “We’ll have some great standard features such as a Kegerator, Popcorn machine, Foosball table and beanbag chairs, and a high flow toilet.  We’re going to call them ConBoxes! The HOA dues will be really reasonable at $400 a month.”

We are also starting a PB&J cart just for our ConBox owners.  Grab your lunch as you head off to work.

Personally, I think the PB&J cart will rock the food cart scene. This truly is exciting news for the city of Salem, and you all know which lucky Salem real estate agent is going to list and sell those ConBoxes, right?  It is still a few years out from development, but you can go ahead and contact me now to make a reservation for your own ConBox.