Sometimes you get presented with an opportunity just too good to pass up. Me…I get presented with those “great opportunities” pretty much daily.
Take today, for example…
First, I, formally known as Melina Tomson but now known as “email bearer,” won a cool $2.5M in a lotto I never entered. I was always taught that hard work would be rewarded, but apparently my mere existence in the universe will bring me millions today…how cool is that?
Then, I was contacted by a Colonel in the Sudanhese government wanting to invest in real estate, here in local Salem Oregon…how often does that happen? He must have read my blog! That’s it!… All I have to do is give him my email address to start talking because the email address he used to contact me apparently isn’t the one he is looking for…I love selling real estate, sign me up for that!
I’m thinking I should email him back with my new email address of DoYouReallyThinkPeopleFallForThis@Tomsonburnham.com or StopSpammingMe@TomsonBurnham.com. I’d use some 4 letter words in there, but I don’t want to offend any of you readers with my foul language…
Finally, not one, but two…man I rock, two!…emails from Hong Kong banks directed to me, so politely with “your kind attention,” about helping to launder assist in the placement of money here in the US. Who can resist an email that asks for your “Kind Attention” on it. Clearly not me…I can’t believe all these great people that want to use little ol’ me, here in Salem Oregon, to help them! They really got me thinking of contacting them with that second email because they corrected the spelling errors from the first email they sent 5 minutes earlier. Clearly, these are good people…
Anyway…all of these amazing opportunities have me reconsidering selling real estate here in Salem Oregon. I don’t know…Doesn’t get much better than these choices…Where do you think my future lies…
Hard to believe you passed up on the opportunity to make millions! But I guess if they’re not emailing you then they’ll probably be emailing me and I have this bad habit of passing up on those offers as well.
Rob what is wrong with us? Giving up millions for the hum drum of being with “regular folk.”
I’m so happy for you, winning all that money. I hope that you stay the same likable person you’ve always been. If the riches does change your personality for the worst, I would understand. I dream about winning the big jackpot, then becoming a big snob someday…Oh look I just got an email saying that my long lost aunt in Nigeria left me a cool 3 million. See you in Hawaii suckers.
Salem Man, you know you are lucky I am even responding to you…the snobiness is starting to kick in already…where is my butler? I asked for that lemonade 30 seconds ago…what is wrong with these people? Ugh…Good servants are just so hard to find! You’ll understand that when you start to spend your Nigerian $3M…
You better take the chance while you can! I used to get those and I didn’t respond fast enough apparently and now I never get ANY delightful letters asking for my kind attention from Nigeria or anywhere!
Rebekah after Salem Man gets his Nigerian money, we’ll send them your way…I want to make sure to share the wealth you know…
That’s about $20K US. Don’t spend it all in one place.
Amy…you’re killing me…here I was thinking it was millions in US dollars. You know they didn’t disclose to me that I needed to convert the currency. Frauds!
Wow I thought I was the only one winning these – I am so thrilled to share the spotlight with someone I know and trust… great humor blog
Thesa…tell you what…I’ll split my “winnings” with you.